The Empty Seat at the Thanksgiving Table: A Reflection on Loss and Remembrance

Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, togetherness, and tradition. It’s a season when families gather, sharing food and laughter around a crowded table. But for many, there’s a painful ache that comes with the holiday—a reminder of the empty seat at the table.

When someone we love isn’t physically there, the holidays can feel bittersweet. That empty chair becomes more than just a piece of furniture; it represents the absence of a beloved presence. The laughter that used to fill the air might feel quieter, and the memories of years past can bring tears as well as smiles.

The Pain of the Empty Seat

It’s hard to celebrate when someone is missing. Their favorite dish might still be on the menu, their jokes and stories absent from the conversations. Grief has a way of sneaking into moments meant for joy, casting a shadow over what used to feel so full.

And yet, in that pain, there’s an opportunity—to honor the person who once sat in that seat, to keep their memory alive in the midst of the celebration.

Remembering Brings Peace

Talking about the person who’s gone can bring comfort, even amidst the tears. Sharing stories, laughing at their quirks, or simply saying their name aloud can help keep them close. It’s a way of saying, “You’re still part of us, even if you’re not here physically.”

Don’t be afraid to bring up their name. It might feel awkward at first, or you may worry about making someone sad, but in most cases, you’re giving a gift. You’re letting others know it’s okay to miss them, to remember them, and to share those memories.

For the person grieving, hearing their loved one’s name can be like a balm to the heart. It’s a reminder that others remember too, that their loved one hasn’t been forgotten. It can lead to beautiful moments of reminiscing—sharing their favorite Thanksgiving memory or laughing about the time they burned the rolls (again).

Keeping Their Presence Alive

Here are a few ways to honor the memory of someone you’re missing this Thanksgiving:

🕯️ Set a special place at the table with a candle or a photo in their honor.

📝 Invite everyone to share their favorite memory of that person.

🍂 Include one of their favorite dishes on the menu as a way to bring them into the celebration.

🎶 Play a song they loved or one that reminds you of them.

By including these gestures, you’re not just filling the empty seat—you’re creating space for their memory, allowing them to remain part of the holiday.

Healing Through Connection

Grief during the holidays is deeply personal, but it’s also something we don’t have to bear alone. When we open up, share, and remember together, the pain becomes a little more manageable.

So, this Thanksgiving, if you know someone with an empty seat at their table, don’t shy away from mentioning their loved one. Your words might be the spark that brings a smile or a tear of gratitude.

And if you’re the one with the empty seat, know that it’s okay to feel everything—grief, joy, sorrow, and gratitude. You’re honoring your loved one simply by remembering them and holding them in your heart.

The empty seat may always be there, but so will the love, the memories, and the peace that comes with keeping their presence alive.

Happy Thanksgiving, in their footsteps and in their memory.

💖Aimee

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